


Warrior

by LNewman2015



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 06:39:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 4,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12811824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LNewman2015/pseuds/LNewman2015
Summary: In England, 19th century, Baldroy (formally known to serve as the chef for the Phantomhive household) reminisces of his times in the army. All seemed well and good as he reads the recounts of one of his fellow comrades when something didn't quite add up. A soldier that he shared a bunk with was someone he could confide in more times than one, thick as thieves and attached at the hip since their first training session together. Nobody but him knew that he was a she.





	1. Day 1

12th January 1886

Dear journal...

I am a warrior and nothing can change that. I have served the American army for a little over a year now and they decided to move me from my current station to another branch. I travelled by carriage and passed by the small town I grew up in. Nobody believed me when I said that I wanted to partake in the military because I'm a female, but here I am today as a soldier to protect. Even though I must disguise my feminine assets, I'm still a soldier, regardless. My parents and brothers as well as my sisters have no idea of my profession and can only assume that I travelled to Italy to be wed to a man that could bring my family wealth (but also a lot of destruction). I used bandages to hide my bust and cut my long hair to the shortest length possible. 

Thankfully, my sister had taught me many tricks with paints and makeup so I have been able to construct my face into a masculine form. When we arrived at the barracks, I could already tell that the others here are dedicated to their work than I ever was. I exited the small carriage only for all eyes to turn to me. I gulped as I felt anxiety bubble in my stomach, my lanky figure didn't help either. If anything, it just encouraged them to think that I would be easy to pick on. 

There was one person though who didn't even glance at me, he had dirty blonde hair from what I could see and was also cleaning one of his guns, "Leave the new guy alone," he called out to his teammates. Another man elbowed him in the ribs, "Aww come on Bard, it's fun to see 'em tremble with fear," he chuckled. I rolled my eyes and went off to find the commander, their laughter echoed behind me as I left. 

Joanne Hensphur is my name. I'm the daughter of a widowed blacksmith, Two older sisters, Four older brothers, A younger sister, and another younger brother. We have a particularly large family since we have such little money and all of us work the fields or alongside our father to help keep the roof over our heads. Mom died right after my little brother was born since her body just could handle being pregnant again. Joshi (my little brother) never thought to question our mother's absence but always kept up a cheerful smile to help us stay happy in those small times of sadness. Rachel and Monica (A pair of twins) are 29 years and both are married, whereas Joseph (28), Jason (28 -six months apart from Joseph-), Byron(27), and Frederick(26) are all single. Aubrey (the youngest girl) was 20 and always cared for our aging father. Joshi was only 13 and always hidden from the world's horrors. Then comes me, I'm the eldest overall, 30 years old, and held the most responsibility on my shoulders. 

Day one seemed like a fail but hopefully day two is much better.


	2. Day 2

13th January 1886

Dear Journal...

I got up extra early this morning so I could get ready for the day without being caught. I woke up on my stiff bed and swung my legs over the side of it. As far as I knew, everyone was still dead asleep, and was able to quietly sneak out to change into my uniform. "What're you doing up so early?" a voice said from behind me. It spooked me but I tried to not show it. I turned around and saw that it was the man from before, Bard I think? I let out a quiet sigh of relief, "I could ask the same to you," I retorted- 

"Bard? What are you doing up so late?" A tired boy, Finnian (or Finny) asked while rubbing his eyes. Baldroy was in the kitchen leaning against a counter with a single small candle light, "Nothin' Finny. Just go back to sleep," he said quietly, trying to hide the small leather journal behind his back. The tired gardener didn't want to argue further, so he just nodded and returned to bed. Once he was sure that he was alone once again, he pulled the journal back out in front of him and read on...

"I'm sorry for the others if they give you a hard time. It's just how it works 'round here," Bard apologized on the behalves of everyone else. I nodded and sat beside him, "I'm Jo Hensphur," I held my hand out for him to shake. My name was just the shortened version of Joanne so it wasn't too difficult to come up with. I could barely make out a small smile on his face as he shook my hand, "Baldroy, but everyone 'ere calls me Bard," He replied. When we shook hands, he seemed slightly suspicious of me, It was understandable since I was posing as a male with the most smallest hands a 'man' could have. I smiled, "Nice to meet you Bard," we let go of each other's hands and I started tying my laces of my boots, "Likewise kiddo," he mumbled. I felt slightly frustrated at that comment. "I'm thirty, for your information!" I proclaimed angrily. He then laughed loudly at me. 

When we stared training, I found that I was so much stronger than I thought. I was able to lift quite a few barrels of practice supplies to a makeshift base. It was a huge achievement for me since I only ever worked when my father told me he needed materials for his work. That's when I'd have to use a heavy pick axe to mine for iron and copper alone. The final part of today's training was to show teamwork when it came to manufacturing our own guns and bombshells if the time was to ever come of war. We were put under a time limit and pressure to show how quickly we could do it. I tried to do it on my own but the pressure beat down on my hands and made me mess up. "Hey Hensphur, Need some 'elp?" I heard Bard say from in front of me. I nodded and he helped me out with it, I couldn't help but feel gratitude toward him as he decided to keep helping me when he noticed I was struggling...which I was. I struggled to fit in with the others in our regiment and to even appear strong to the other soldiers. I guess I was wrong about him? I'll have to see


	3. Day 3

15th January 1886

Dear Journal...

As training went on, every morning became more bleak as I woke up. I slowly had become friends with more comrades thanks to Bard. I had been able to open up a bit more to him and the others, lying along the way though to hide my identity. We currently had the day off and were sat in our bunker, reading through any letters that we had from home. I had none since my family did not know of where I was... "Hey Jo? How come you haven't gotten anything yet?" One of them asked. I stiffened and tried to make up a lie on the spot, "Well...uh...I'm not exactly on the best terms with them," I said calmly as I fiddled with a small picture that I kept in my breast pocket. 

The picture was taken a year ago by the pastor of our village. In the center was my father sat on a stool, Joshi happily kneeling in front of him. Rachel and Monica were at each side with happy smiles. Joseph, Jason, Byron, And Frederick were in their work uniforms. Aubrey had her arms around our father while I was at the very back. My hair was much longer back then and always neatly tied into a braid. I could see how happy we were as a whole family. I still didn't have contact with them at all so I wouldn't have any idea what was going on in their lives, but as long as they were okay.

"That's a shame. We're your new family though alright?"  A fellow comrade beamed as he opened a letter from his wife. I sighed slightly and was about to put the picture back in my pocket when someone grabbed it, "Hey! Give it back!" I exclaimed.

"Woah, is this your family? Quite big eh?" Asher (a soldier only a couple years younger than me) chuckled. I nodded hesitantly. Soon enough, I was explaining to them who was who in my family. "And that's Joanne, she's the eldest," I smiled inwardly since I was actually describing myself. I could feel someone stare at me, "She looks kinda like you but as a girl." they stated. I stopped, had I been caught this early on? "Well o' course she does! She's his older sister," Baldroy defended. I felt myself sigh quietly before he handed my picture back to me. 

What happened after everyone left kinda spooked me though, "Don't worry though, I won't say anything about you bein' a girl Jo," Baldroy winked at me before leaving. I felt a small heat rush to my cheeks.

So I was figured out...but hopefully It'll be kept a secret


	4. Day 4

16th January 1886

          Dear Journal...

"So...care to tell me who you really are?" Baldroy asked me once everyone was out of sight. I understood that I owed him an explanation, but the fear of being kicked out just kept hissing through my mind. I sighed and took off my army hat. Over the couple of months, a few strands of hair had grown longer so I had to hide it in my hat, "I'm actually Joanne Hensphur. My family actually think I'm in Italy when I'm actually here," I explained shortly. Late night talks with Bard became a frequent thing for us, it was quite sweet to and allowed us to get it know each other better as people and not as soldiers. He smirked slightly at me, "So you're the cutie at the back of the picture eh?" He teased me. I punched his arm as I felt myself blush heavily at the compliment, "Shut up" I laughed.-

 

 

"What are you doing up so late again Baldroy?" Sebastian asked the following night. He had a candle in his hand as well as still wearing his butler's uniform. Once again, Baldroy had stayed up late to read more entries of the journal. Despite how quick Bard thought he hid the journal, Sebastian (being the demon he was) knew what he was hiding. In a matter of moments, Sebastian had the journal in his hands, "Quite the interesting make. The Lily that's engraved looks handmade...who's is it?" Sebastian asked as his gloved hand went over the small engravings in the leather. "A-A...Comrade," He hesitated. The hesitation caught on to Sebastian, he raised an eyebrow "Interesting," He mumbled. He eventually handed the journal back to Bard before giving the chef a stern look, "Don't stay up too late Baldroy." 

 

 

"Well Joanne, Its nice to finally know you for you," Bard smiled, ruffling my hair. Now that I look at him, I notice how different we were...in both personality and appearance wise. He had blonde hair with a heavy American accent, while I had ebony hair and a slight Spanish tone to my voice - My father was American but my mother was Spanish. He had bright blue eyes and a confident speak, I on the other hand had Chocolate brown orbs with a slightly more timid voice. We were very much opposite but...I couldn't help but feel so drawn to him? "And you Bard. Can I trust you to to keep my secret?" I asked hesitantly. He nodded and I ended up resting my head on his shoulder, I heard him whisper,

"I wouldn't let you go for a second."


	5. Day 5

18th January 1886

          Dear Journal...

I was rudely awoken by one of my comrades. Before I could beat his rear for waking me up, he told me to pack up any supplies necessary since we were going into battle soon. On that note, I packed quicker than anything. "Hensphur, I need to see you for a moment," The commander said when entering my bunk. I nodded and put down my bags and followed him into a room full of other soldiers (including Bard). I stood beside Bard and whispered, "What's going on?" I was generally confused as to what the hell was going on. He then suddenly grabbed me by the waist and pulled me closely, "It's the plans of action," he growled slightly before letting go of me.

They explained how we were to go about the mission and how to attack if  the time came. As it processed through my mind, I realised how faulty it was...but I was too scared to even raise my hand. "But sir! That goes right into enemy fire!" Baldroy spoke up. I looked up at him, It seemed he had also caught on to what I was thinking. The commander just told him to shut up though, I clenched my jaw in slight anger. It was true though! At the rate the plan was, we would go straight into enemy fire! 

I left in the middle of the conversation to calm down. It was so frustrating! I sat on my bed with my head in my hands. 'Oh god...this is really happening' I thought.  It was terrifying to actually realise that we were going into battle soon...It was even scarier to think that your friends didn't even know who you truly were. Another person sat beside me, "What's wrong Jo?" they said, It was Bard again. I sighed heavily and let my head fall onto his shoulder, "It's just hitting me that this is really happening..." I mumbled. He pulled me into a gentle hug and rubbed my arm gently for comfort, "I know it's difficult, but we're gonna stand by each other okay? I ain't gonna let you die that quickly," He reassured me. I returned the hug after a while.

"Thanks Bard, I really mean it," I smiled as I felt anxiety melt away in moments. One question still lingered though in the back of my mind, "Why didn't you rat me out?" I asked. It was a thought that stuck with me for a while, since he knew who I really was I thought that he was going to get me kicked out, "Well...your a valuable asset to the team...you're also really cute," He teased and I just rolled my eyes. Sometimes I just couldn't take him seriously...but that's what I liked about him.


	6. Day 6

19th January 1886

         Dear Journal...

The trek was almost never ending and tiring...I felt more homesick than when I started training further in the states. Thankfully, we took a break once we reached a village. We decided to settle down here temporarily to gather any more supplies from the market and rest up, ready for battle. I sighed in relief when we set up camp on the outskirts of the village and laid down on the hard ground, "Tired?" Bard asked me while taking a seat beside me. I nodded before wiping the heads of sweat that trickled down the side of my temple.

After a while of calming down and cooling off, I got up and decided to explore the village. It was quaint and poor but seemed perfectly happy and stable as it was. It seemed familiar though... Some children came barrelling up to us with sparks in their eyes and big beaming smiles while telling us how much they admired us for being brave. I couldn't help but feel happy and confident when they did that, it meant that we inspired them to do good for the world. 

I wondered aimlessly around until I came across a small workshop. I entered slowly as it looked occupied and quite busy. When I went in, I was blasted with a puff of smoke. Coughing it out of my lungs and finally able to see, I saw that it was a blacksmith. That blacksmith had a mask on made of iron to protect his face from the heat that the metals were placed under. My curiosity got the better of me as I wondered around the small workshop. My eyes almost immediately locked on to the metal crest that hung above a fireplace. It was exactly like the one I had back at home.

"Excuse me sir? This is a lovely crest. Where did you get it?" I asked, hoping that he just bought it from someone like my father. The blacksmith took of his mask, I froze. "I actually made it after my late wife gave birth to our first child," he explained. I nodded after gulping heavily and left quickly. I saw the other soldiers having a grand ol' time with the townsfolk, whereas I was internally screaming. I tried to return back to our temporary base camp, but someone put their hand on my shoulder to stop me. "Are you leaving already?" They asked. It was Aubrey's voice...I knew that voice anywhere. I tried to hide my face from her but she kept pressing on the matter of me leaving, saying it seemed suspicious. I had to admit, Aubrey was a lot smarter than people gave her credit for. "I'm sorry miss but I really need to get something," I rushed before dashing into my tent. I sighed in relief when she didn't follow me, "Back already Jo?" Bard's teasing voice made me jump. I hit him on the chest, "You scared me! I thought you were my sister!" I grumbled at him. His laughter rung in my ears. 

This was going to be a long trip.


	7. Day 7

19th January 1886

          Dear Journal...

Around the eve, A bonfire was lit around our small makeshift base of operations. The fire was high and laughter crackles amongst the flames. This is was the time that truly was treasured for us, because it was when we were all equals and family. I felt the warmth on my right hand, warmer than the fire. I looked at my hand and it was covered by another, I looked up and saw Bard's smiling face. Recently, we had gotten closer than normal - not that I'm complaining - and I always felt happier when around him. 

That feeling though always shattered when I realised it might not last long after this. But I'm a warrior! I must last longer than people are lead to believe. 

 

 

 

Bard sighed heavily at the sentence and put the journal down again. The memories of Joanne just stuck to him, she was unforgettable. He performed his jobs like normal when it came to work, but the ways of a soldier never truly left him. A screech snapped him out of his thoughts 'Probably Mey-Rin tripping over her skirts again,' he thought with a soft smile. The people he worked with today were the kinds the he was proud to call his family.

 

 

"Psst!" I heard a whisper from behind the trees. I glanced around but there was nobody there. I heard it again and saw that it was Aubrey! I slowly stood up and went over to her, trying to hide anything that could possibly expose me as her sister, "Hello again, she grinned from ear to ear. i nodded before her sweet face became incredibly serious and deadly, "What the hell do you think you're doing here Joanne?! Are you trying to get yourself killed?!" she hissed angrily. So there was no point in hiding since she already knew that it was me. I sighed, "No..." I mumbled softly. I suddenly felt disappointed in myself, I was supposed to be a role model for my baby sister...but joining the army against all the rules wasn't exactly following that was it? Following the rules to become a successful business woman and wife? Now that was more a role model thing to do in my village. "I wanted to change things for us, give us an easier life! Give you young girls a chance to experience things we've never done before!" I exclaimed quietly. 

Aubrey wasn't having it though...at all, "Yeah. I know Joanne...But staying alive sounds much more appealing to me than dying!" she hissed before running off back home.


	8. Day 8

0th January 1886

         Dear Journal...

I was still awake by midnight in my tent. A sat up on my elbows and whispered quietly, "Hey Bard, you still awake?" I asked. It didn't take long for a response, "Yeah," he whispered back. I could barely make out his figure in the shadows and shuffled over beside him. "You nervous?" He asked as he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into a warm and inviting hug. I hummed softly as if to say I was. I sighed contently and wrapped him arms around him. This kind of moment, although i'd never admit it, made me think that when (if) I go home then I could possibly be a housewife with kids and a happy life...

I listened to his erratic heartbeat as we cuddled under the moonlight. The tents were very thin so the moon easily flowed through and the stars could be seen. I pointed to some of them and said what they were that I remembered from books. I looked back to Bard and saw he was looking at me after my eyes adjusted to the darkness, "What do you plan on doing after the army?" He asked me while I rested my head on his chest. This moment just felt so perfect that I didn't even want to close my eyes for a second, "I don't know...Travel to England?...Get married...Have Kids...Be with the man I love..." I whispered. He seemed a bit shocked at first.

"That doesn't sound like you Jo," He stated. It was true, It was unlike me to think this way, "I know...I only just started thinking this way when are possibilities of death kind of settled, ya know?" I twirled the long strands of my hair as a grin found a way to my lips...and so did another thing.

In a heat of the moment, we kissed...and it was...good. Oh who am I kidding, it felt like a dream! Every second of said kiss made me feel on top of the world and beyond! 

My heart pounded as I realised that I loved him. The future I had planned out in my mind, each scenario had Bard in it and I couldn't deny it. I was absolutely terrified for both of our lives...

We trekked on for 30 days after that until the destination was clear.


	9. Day 9

20th January 1886

Dear Journal...

I think it's safe to say that if my village church found out what happened the following night, I'd be shunned for life. I got up as early as I possibly could to bathe in the nearby lake. The water was incredibly warm due to the heat increasing, thankfully the warm water was soothing on my aching body. Nobody was around to see my...feminine aspects. Once I was clean and less sore, I dressed in my uniform and grabbed one of my blades. I took chunks off my hair - it was growing longer and longer by the day - and cut them off back to its shorter length.

By the time I returned to our makeshift base, Everyone was up and ready to go on. I grabbed all of my things and we got in formation to go on. I managed to sneak a cheeky smile to Bard but it was difficult to talk to each other at all due to us being further from each other in our formations. I knew we were very very close to our destination, Because the atmosphere became dark and serious. I gripped my gun tightly as I felt anxious of our current situation. 

I had no idea that we were actually practically on top of enemy base until a bomb went off right next to us! Panic immediately filled my heart when we all ducked down into the crater that it formed. We were all scattered around, all paralysed in fear but knew we had to fight as we pledged our hearts to. 

I didn't even feel it until someone pointed it out...but I was shot in the abdomen. "Jo! You've been shot!" One of my comrades shouted to me. I then felt a blinding pain in my abdomen and screamed out in pain, tears pricked my eyes. After hearing my scream of pain, help arrived to our part and assisted me to a medic. My vision blurred so I didn't know who it was, but it was warm to be in their arms. 

 

 

Bard frowned when he read that part. He knew that Joanne wouldn't have been able to see him clearly since she lost too much blood, but it was too painful to relive even in the mind.

 

 

I was laid in a trench part area with a medic, and all that flashed through my mind was 'Will I live? Will I see my family again? They are bound to find out now...'


	10. Day 10

21st January 1886

Dear Journal...

It didn't surprise me when I found out that the medics told my allies that my wound was so fatal that I had died. I could only imagine how they reacted. I was given clean clothing, a plain blue dress that easily covered my wound, and was almost instantly shipped back home. As whoever reads this, I wrote this in the medical trench before I will be forced into a carriage and sent back to the U.S. 

I truly fell in love in the army, it was the best times I could have there...but it was  also a mistake. I never realized how much I was capable of until I broke the laws for a woman. It was only a mistake because it made me want to do more of it! 

I wanted to hold the gun in my hand once again and fire away to protect my country, my family, and my love. 

My comrades would have been told I had died...but I really am returning home. 

 

 

 

Bardroy stopped after reading the sentence, 'She's still alive?' he wondered confusedly. 

 

 

I've probably changed if anyone finds this or even finds me in real waking life. I'm leaving this journal in Baldroy's bag in hopes of him finding it and surviving...I love you...

 

 

Bard froze, unsure of what on earth to do. Mey-Rin and Finny were discreetly reading over his shoulder, reading the last entry Joanne made in the journal. "She was so ahead of her time," Mey-Rin complimented quietly. Baldroy didn't even respond, but he didn't deny that it was true.

Finny nodded in agreement with Mey-Rin, "Have you ever tried to look for her?" he asked. Once again, no response from Bard. "What are you all gawking about? Let's get going!" Sebastian scolded. The Phantomhive servants were attending a ball at the Trancy manor alongside Ciel Phantomhive. 

They were all dressed in costumes once they got to the manor. The party was extravagant and amazing, everyone of different businesses and companies had attended. 

"Baldroy?"


	11. Final Day

Upon hearing his name, Baldroy turned around and saw a woman with pitch black hair reaching her shoulder blades, wearing an american army uniform as a costume. She looked incredibly familiar with her dark brown eyes. 

"Is it really you?" She asked in disbelief. Bard was unsure of what to say, she looked familiar but couldn't place her. The woman saw his confusion and pulled her hair back slightly, "Joanne Hensphur," her smile dropped slightly, kind of disappointed. When he heard the name, everything clicked. "Your alive?!" He exclaimed happily. His happiness made her laugh and slowly get closer, "I am...And I am so glad you are too!" she grinned and hugged him tightly. 

It seemed almost too good to be true, he held her closely. They chatted all night about the few years after the army, not a lot had changed...nor was their feelings. 

"I'm actually starting my new job soon, it's close to the country, hopefully I'll see you more often," Joanne smiled. 

The night came to a draw and it was time to leave, "I better go, I'll see you soon Bard," She kissed his cheek. Bard did the same "You too Jo."

 

 

End


End file.
